I have no idea who this is, but every laptop dj looks the same...

 So, it's been a long fucking time coming.  If you're any kind of fan of DJs and you like almost ANY kind of electronic music, I'm positive you've had to face this conversation: "DJs that don't use turntables are: fake/
whack/
dickheads/
cheating/
awesome/
Tiésto/my roommates/
new school or etc.  

  Well, I'm going to lay as much of everything I have to say about this topic out as I can.

 Alright, maybe not everything.  I'm kinda drunk and its a Monday night.  I could GO! But, am I an expert? Many believe so.  So do I in fact, fuck yea.

  Without waxing my balls to a high polish I'll tell you this.  I started DJing in 1997 when, for a breif gleaming moment, electronic music almost destroyed hip-hop & hard rock as the music of AMERICA.  I mean, if you go to Canada or even the UK, DJs are still rockstars.  What the fuck happened to us? But I digress.....  Having bought my first Technics before you were probably born, but remaining young enough to date your sister, I can say this: there are different generations of DJs.  Me~ I can play on 1200s as if its second nature.  CDJs: were just an extension of the 1200, they're my bitch's kissing cousin.  Laptops, Ableton, Serato, Traktor, etc? Six one way, a half dozen the other.  Djing is as much a part of me as breathing or eating.

  What about the kids that didn't have a record store?  THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!  This generation had Djs like me with CDJs at their disposal, had rich parents, or were opening for the old guard at big parties.  They had connections to show them the ropes AND had the ways & means to be ahead of the curve.  So what's an old fuck like me to do?  Hell, I'm 32?  The only famous people this old are playing grandparents in movies!  I had to try and stay ahead of the curve or die.  So I over the past 3 years I've played vinyl, I've played on CDJs, and I've spent THOUSANDS of dollars so that I can be a "Digital DJ".  Are you trying to figure out what to do?   I'll give you a brief (unlike my intro) description  of how it all played out.

  Learning on Technics 1200s: Such a pain in the ass!  You have to really have o want to be a DJ to learn how to spin RECORDS.  That's why no one does anymore!  BUT! The DJs that can't spin on vinyl and are any good are few and far between.  You have to flap your wings to fly, but this is AMERICA! I know you're new to DJing and learning how to spin on 1200's will take several months that you don't have!  BUT, 1200s are organic! Every pair is different and there are several different models.  A true master of the 1200 can play on any direct drive turntable.  It becomes part of them.  The DJ needs to feel what each deck is like, the slipmats, the braking, how tight the pitch control is.  Its like driving a classic Porsche.  They're all alike, but only as far as the gas & brake pedals. Otherwise, I could crash & burn at any second.

  Learning on CDJ-1000s: At least Pioneer's in house DJs/engineers knew enough to realize that if CD player were going to take off, they would need to be KINDA like 1200s.  Wait though, they're digital!?!? The big jog wheels all feel the same and the pitch controls are all identical and it tells me the BPM?!?!  I still need to be able to feel my music and understand the equipment I'm driving, but all of a sudden I have traction control & ABS? Shit, this keeps getting easier....

  Spinning from Serato/Traktor/Torq/Ableton Live/Etc: The idea behind all of this is essentially the same.  I need to mix 2 tracks. I need to do it easily and look cool doing it.  BUT!~ Now complex algorithms perform the beatmatching and create grids for me.  MIDI clocks make sure that things happen in time with the rest of the music and I have insane new tools at my disposal that were impossible using large heavy slabs of wax?  Almost all I need to do is hit the gas and brake and keep this monster off the guard rail!

  Do you order vinyl from secret Swedish record shops? Are all of your friends incredible producers, so you only play tracks 6 months before they come out? Did you buy a laptop to carry it around like a security blanket?  So what should you do? Learn em all!

Yup, thats right people.  The organic experience of spinning on 1200s will teach you to FEEL THE MUSIC. Understanding and having the stability of a CDJ will tighten up your skills.  You'll pass the experience and the expertise onto the crowd! Finally, using the infinite tools, effects, and samples, loops, and every other thing I have no idea about on your laptop will make the experience truely unique.  Once you have a bit of all of those things, maybe you'll be able to match some of what you see below and you'll get to touch the heavens and become truely great.

{EDITOR'S NOTE: Scooby is not a great DJ.  He's old and he's DJed a lot.  Alright maybe sometimes he's great, but the last time he tried to use Traktor it ended in a technical horrorshow and he threw his headphones through the crowd at his best friend.  

  Take this whole article with a grain of salt because no matter what, a DJ needs to be playing to the crowd no matter how he does it. BE READY FOR ANYTHING! Needles break, CDs skip, and laptops crash.  Pick your poison, but if any of these happen to you the crowd will think you suck no matter what!!!!}